Lessons from and old fairy tale blended with the tools of Positive Psychology
I am a seeker of serenity, searching for the pathways of enduring happiness. Decades of exploring and synthesizing avenues to wisdom led me to my favorite fairytale, the tale of Cinderella. This time I didn’t interpret the fairytale from Cinderella’s viewpoint. Instead I apprenticed to the Fairy Godmother.
The Fairy Godmother lives within uncompromising, radiant happiness. Her lifestyle is dangerously optimistic. As a result she expedites miraculous outcomes. It’s not that she doesn’t notice the problems of life. Cinderella didn’t have a dress for the ball. She needed a coach and driver. When you are grounded in reality you deal with the problems.
I don’t want to tell you how old I was before I began creating my life from the perspective of the Fairy Godmother. Let’s just leave it at, for much of my life I was in the habit of creating life from Cinderella’s point of view. More often than not I was disappointed. Like Cinderella I worked and worked to create harmony in environments that would not support harmony. Such an unstinting effort is exhausting, especially after several decades. To say it was stressful and no fun only scratches the surface of the issue. It was a harsh and bleak way to live.
Imagine Cinderella in her thirties and forties scrubbing away at the kitchen floor, struggling to make beauty in an environment, for people who cannot appreciate elegance. This is not a pretty picture. Living life from Cinderella’s perspective is to stay entrapped in the young maiden who longs for fulfillment. Hardship is her constant companion. Unfulfilled relationships are her unremitting burden.
My quest? Mature beyond the Cinderella archetype. Find enduring happiness. Imitating Cinderella had generated disasters. It’s tough to admit. I’m trained in the skills of good communication, the secrets of happy relationships. Even the people who love me the most shook their heads in dismay. I set about studying the ways of the Fairy Godmother.
The Way of the Fairy Godmother will discover the skills of savoring. What is already working in our lives? I’ve heard one voice of wisdom assert if we can breathe we can improve our circumstances. He meant “breathe” in the literal, not metaphoric, sense. That’s intense! Do you know the power of a cleansing breath?
When the Fairy Godmother arrived in Cinderella’s vegetable garden, almost hidden by the stalks of corn, she didn’t talk with Cinderella about her problems. The Fairy Godmother’s first conversation with Cinderella explored her dreams. Cinderella’s dream was a first date with the Prince. Why do we find and define our Deepest Desires? Our Deepest Desires hold the seeds of our happiness.
Entwining Deepest Desires with our strengths leads us to a state of absorption and flow. Like the athlete that finds ‘the zone’ we are lost in the pleasure of growing mastery. One of Cinderella’s strengths was her need to create beauty. She didn’t just clean her house. She made her home shine with the love she put into her task. Loving was another strength.
The Fairy Godmother models a positive language specific to goals and ambitions. Our brains translate our words and thoughts into images. How does our biochemistry interact with images? We’ll become aware of our biochemistry and the impact of visual images to prepare us for success and happiness.